I’d started getting inconveniently teary—frequently stepping out for a cry in the Most Beautiful Freezer in the World. Christmas at the Pole required a grand feast, no small part of which consisted of the desserts, candies, and breads that I was responsible for. Maybe it was the holiday pressure, or maybe it was the weeks of solitary nights in the kitchen. But when I sat down before my shift one night with a mechanic friend, her pink beanie smeared with grease, her innocent question broke me. “How are you?” can be dangerous. My throat tightened. I wiped at my face, trying to make the tears disappear. As I caught my breath, I gulped that I’d exhausted myself and missed my family. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve cried in front of everyone on station.” We were all stuck there, holding out as best we could; like family members, we eventually figured out how to be lonely together.
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